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Tips for talking to young children about terrorism

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Talking to Young Children About Terrorism

Terrorism is frightening to us all. Young children, however, are most vulnerable and susceptible to it. Some of the symptoms that young children display may include:

  • Changes or disruptions in sleep patterns
  • Changes in behavior
  • Preoccupation or obsession with a negative event
  • Fear of separation

One of the difficulties in dealing with the issue is that parents themselves are having problems dealing with their reactions and may not recognize the signs of stress and anxiety in their children. This is especially true since children may not exhibit any overt symptoms or their reactions may be delayed. Parents often mistakenly assume that their children have not been affected and, therefore, do not discuss the situation. It is important that children understand that it is alright to speak to their parents about their fears. It is not necessary for parents to go into great depth but it is important that parents open the door so that their children can open up. This can only be done by listening and talking to the children.

Parents should reassure their children that everything possible is being done to safeguard them. They can provide concrete examples of how they are being protected at home, school and other places they frequent.

Hopelessness in the face of these situations can often lead to passivity. By taking action and controlling what you can, you reduce your sense of being a victim. Action breeds hope. This is also true for children. Help them to take action. For example, a young child can assist with shopping for essential items such as bottled water and putting them in storage at home. Parents become role models for their children by taking action themselves. Act on your beliefs by volunteering, giving food or some other activity that contributes to the common good.

Some of the other practical tips for helping young children include:

  • Touch and hold your children
  • Take the time to talk slowly and calmly with them
  • Tell them why you are sad or upset
  • Use simple words
  • Don't put ideas in their minds that would make them overreact (details)
  • Don't overreact by making them feel they might be in danger or that you might lose them (keep things normal)
  • Don't under-react by assuming that they are too young to understand what is happening
  • Talk about their feelings and what they would do to help people who got hurt
  • Spend more time with them at bedtime
  • Be patient with their behavior changes
  • If they seem afraid, create a calm atmosphere at home with soft lights and gentle music, help them think about pleasant things
  • Talk with their preschool or childcare agency about what they are doing to help the children cope

Source: "Care Note - Talking to Young Children about Terrorism" - Department of Psychiatry, Penn Behavioral Health, University of Pennsylvania Health System

Tips

  1. Provide reassurance and comfort (touch and hold your children).
  2. Reassure them that they are safe and you will make sure they are alright.
  3. Keep things as normal as possible (keep them calm and settled).
  4. Avoid under-reacting by assuming they are too young to understand that tragedy has occurred.
  5. Talk slowly and calmly with them about why you are sad.
  6. Tell them that the people who were hurt are being helped.
  7. Do not put ideas in their minds that would make them overreact (too many details of the tragedy).
  8. Ask them to share their feelings about what they would do to help people who got hurt.
  9. Refrain from dwelling too much on the tragedy or having your children watch too much television or radio news about the event.
  10. Create an atmosphere at home of peace and gentle thoughts (especially at bedtime) and ask your pre-school or childcare agency what they are doing to help the children cope during the day.

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